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Funny

«Please, dear God, don't let me fuck up.»
Author: Alan B. Shepard, Jr. | About: Funny, God, Life, Mistakes, Prayer
«Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears.»
Author: Bobby Jones (Golfer) | About: Funny, Golf, Sports | Keywords: competitive, inch, mainly
«California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian) | About: Funny | Keywords: an orange, California, orange, oranges
«Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, with the possible exception of tequila and hand guns»
Author: Mitch Ratcliffe | About: Computers, Funny, Mistakes | Keywords: almost, Computers, enabled, exception, faster, guns, hand, hand made, history, invention, in history, mistakes, possible, tequila, The Exceptions, very fast
«Christmas itself may be called into question, If carried so far it creates indigestion.»
Author: Ralph Bergengren | About: Christmas, Food, Funny | Keywords: call into question, carried, Christmas, indigestion
«Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.»
Author: Robert Byrne (Author, Writer) | About: Democracy, Funny, Politics | Keywords: allowed to vote, candidate, dislike
«Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.»
Author: Joseph Campbell (Author, Editor, Philosopher, Teacher) | About: Computers, Funny | Keywords: Computers, gods, lots, mercy, No Mercy, Old Testament, rules, testament, testaments
«Charlotte: So how are you?Carrie: I'm good. How are you?Charlotte: Great.Carrie: I told Aidan about the affair and he broke up with me.Charlotte: Trey and I never had sex on our honeymoon.Carrie: You win. So. Should we get more coffee or should we get two guns and kill ourselves?»
Author: Sex and the City (TV series) | About: Funny | Keywords: affair, Aidan, broke, Carrie, charlotte, coffee break, guns, honeymoon, The Affair, trey
«Carrie: I just love Sleeping Beauty! The music, the sets, the costumes. It's so romantic!Stanford: You only like it because she sleeps for a hundred years and doesn't age.»
Author: Sex and the City (TV series) | About: Funny | Keywords: Carrie, costumes, costuming, romantic, sets, set to music, sleeping, sleeping beauty, sleeps
«Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company»
Author: Scott Adams (Cartoonist) | About: Company, Funny, Office Politics, Work | Keywords: company, consultant, consultants, credibility, dumb, dumber, dumbest, work at
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