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Funny

«A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.»
Author: Arthur Brisbane (Editor, Writer) | About: Friends, Friendship, Funny, Honesty, Sincerity
«A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.»
Author: Bill Hicks (Comedian) | About: Funny | Keywords: Christians, cross, crosses, fucking, Jackie, Jesus, necks, Onassis, pendant, rifle, rifled, rifles, wear, wearing
«A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is one who hopes they are.»
Author: Chauncey Depew (Industrialist, Politician) | About: Funny, Men and Women, Optimism | Keywords: all women, hopes, optimist, pessimist, Pessimists, thinks
«A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.»
Author: Cyrano De Bergerac | About: Funny, Noses | Keywords: affable, The Mark of, witty
«A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.»
Author: George Ade (Journalist, Playwright, Writer) | About: Funny, Men | Keywords: receives, telegram, telegrams
«A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.»
Author: Jack Benny (Entertainer) | About: Funny | Keywords: dressed, following, kid, schmuck, scout, scouting, Scouts, scout troop, troop, twelve
«Bam:Let's see if we can rock and knock this thing over. Ryan:Yeah, thats how I wanted to spend my afternoon... dead.»
Author: Ryan Dunn | About: Funny
«A rich man's joke is always funny»
Author: Thomas Browne, Sr. | About: Funny | Keywords: rich man
«A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.»
Author: Oscar Wilde (Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet) | About: Danger, Funny, Sincerity | Keywords: absolutely, at the least, a great deal, a little, dangerous, deal, dealt out, deal out, fatal, great, great deal, How To Deal, is a, little, sincerity, The Deal, thing
«A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.»
Author: Robert Frost | About: 40th birthday, Birthday, Diplomacy, Funny, Jokes | Keywords: birthday, remembers
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