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Funny

«When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.»
Author: Clarence Darrow (Lawyer, Speaker, Writer) | About: Belief, Funny | Keywords: boy, President
«When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.»
Author: Emo Philips | About: Forgiveness, Funny | Keywords: asked, bicycle, Bicycles, every night, forgive, kid, Kid The, Lord's table, lorded, new, Night, one use, pray, realised, So I, stole, the LORD, used, used to
«When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.»
Author: Gracie Allen (Actress, Comedian) | About: Birth, Funny | Keywords: surprised, year
«We must laugh before we are happy, for fear we die before we laugh at all.»
Author: Jean de La Fontaine (Poet) | About: Funny
«Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say I'm thirsty, not dirty.»
Author: Joe E. Lewis (Comedian, Singer) | About: Funny | Keywords: Scotch, thirsty
«When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.»
Author: Mae West (Actress) | About: Evil, Funny | Keywords: choosing, evils, tried
«When you invite the whole world to your party, inevitably someone pees in the beer.»
Author: Xeni Jardin (Columnist) | About: Beer, Funny, Party
«We must laugh at man to avoid crying for him.»
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte (Emperor, General, Politician) | About: Funny | Keywords: crying
«When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.»
Author: George Bernard Shaw (Critic, Essayist, Playwright) | About: Funny | Keywords: funnier, funny, hidden, Hidden Things, search
«What people call insincerity is simply a method by which we can multiply our personalities.»
Author: Oscar Wilde (Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet) | About: Funny, Insincerity, Psychology, witty | Keywords: insincerity, method, multiplied by, multiplies, multiply, multiplying, personalities
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