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Funny

«Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.»
Author: Frank Sinatra (Actor, Singer) | About: Alcohol, Drinking, Enemies, Funny, Mankind | Keywords: alcohol
«Advertising is 85% confusion and 15% commission»
Author: Fred Allen (Comedian) | About: Advertising, Funny | Keywords: commission, commissioned, Commissions, Commission on
«Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.»
Author: Mitch Hedberg (Comedian) | About: Comedy, Funny | Keywords: alcoholic, alcoholics, alcoholism, goddamn, yelled
«Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas»
Author: Paula Poundstone (Comic) | About: Adulthood, Children, Funny, Ideas | Keywords: adults, asking, grow up, ideas, kids, Kid The, looking for
«After God, long live wine.»
Author: Rosalia de Castro | About: Funny, God | Keywords: long-lived
«Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: America and Americans, Comedy, Funny, Language, Travel | Keywords: abroad, Americans, American language, despite, discover, foreign, foreign language, foreign languages, for the first time, languages, progress, shocked, spoken language, The Last, travel
«Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.»
Author: Robin Williams | About: Comedy, Divorce, Funny, Humor | Keywords: divorce, divorces, divorcing, genitals, Latin, rip, ripping, rip out, rip up, wallet, wallets, word meaning
«Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.»
Author: Ernest Hemingway | About: Bragging, Drinking, Funny | Keywords: drunk, shut, sober, soberest, sobering
«Always remember this: 'A kiss will never miss, and after many kisses a miss becomes a misses'.»
Author: John Lennon (Political activist, Singer, Songwriter) | About: Dating, Funny, Kissing, Love, Marriage
«Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.»
Author: Winston Churchill (Author, Orator, Prime Minister) | About: Alcohol, Funny | Keywords: alcohol
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