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Funny

«If you really want something in this life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers»
Author: Dan Castellaneta (Actor, Writer) | About: Funny | Keywords: announce, announces, announcing, lotteries, lottery, numbers, quiet, Quiet Life, This Life
«If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.»
Author: Earl Wilson | About: Funny, Money, Self Importance | Keywords: a couple of, couple, missing, payments
«Indecision may or may not be my problem.»
Author: Jimmy Buffett (Singer, Songwriter) | About: Funny, Indecision | Keywords: indecision
«In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.»
Author: Len Deighton (Writer) | About: Funny, Politicians, Work | Keywords: air-conditioner, conditioner
«It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.»
Author: Rod Serling | About: Advertising, Culture, Funny, Television
«In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Funny, Television | Keywords: danced, in general, refuse, television
«In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.»
Author: Woody Allen (Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter) | About: Funny | Keywords: boss, decision maker, maker, My Wife
«Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | About: Alcohol, Funny, Humor, Women | Keywords: alcoholics, drink, female, fuck, fucked, fuck all, fuck up, fuck you, instead, pregnant, The Warning, told, warning, warnings
«In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.»
Author: Oscar Wilde (Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet) | About: Funny, Insanity, Opinions | Keywords: adversaries, insane, in all, matters, opinion
«Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.»
Author: Woody Allen (Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter) | About: Funny | Keywords: astronomer, astronomers, comforting, finite, interestingly, particularly, This is a
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