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My Wife

«I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.»
Author: Henry Youngman (Comedian, Violinist) | Keywords: forty-one, forty, My Wife
«Lady Nancy Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea.Churchill: Nancy, if I were your husband, I'd drink it.»
Author: Winston Churchill (Author, Orator, Prime Minister) | Keywords: let, madam, madams, My Wife, poison, sir, Sirs, Was, were, wife
«I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'»
Author: Emo Philips | About: Adultery | Keywords: crushed, get off, My Wife
«It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: glass, kisses, lips, My Wife, The Dog, tough
«In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.»
Author: Woody Allen (Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter) | About: Funny | Keywords: boss, decision maker, maker, My Wife
«I believe I'm a better authority than anybody else in America on my wife. I have never known a person with a stronger sense of right and wrong in my life -- ever.»
Author: Bill Clinton (President) | Keywords: good authority, My Wife, right and wrong, sense of right and wrong
«Excuse me, officer, but would you mind bringing the wreckage a little closer this way? My wife can't see»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: bringing, closer, excuse, My Wife, officer, wife, wreckage
«As from a bear a man would run for life, So fly I from her that would be my wife»
Author: William Shakespeare (Dramatist, Playwright, Poet) | Keywords: My Wife, run for
«Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.»
Author: Woody Allen (Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter) | Keywords: at home, basically, bath, boated, boating, boats, come in, home in, immature, My Wife, sank, sink, sink in, The Bath, wife
«'Mr. Churchill, if you were my husband, I'd poison your tea!' And if you were my wife, I would drink it!»
Author: Winston Churchill (Author, Orator, Prime Minister) | Keywords: Churchill, drink, husband, My Wife, poison, tea, Teas, wife
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