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Fuckin
«I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.»
«Isn't that the whole integrity of this fuckin' band to do different shit? We've always tried to avoid following what everyone else is doing, It's a challenge to come up with things that are original. It's not easy, but that's part of the fun.»
«I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It's so fuckin' heroic.»
«I'm not going to sacrifice love, real love, for any fuckin' whore or any friend, or any business, because in the end you're alone at night.»
«I saw a product on late night tv. It said, you can water your hard-to-reach plants with this product. Who the fuck would make their plants hard to reach?! I know you need water, but I'm gonna make you hard to reach. I will throw water at you. Hopefully they invent a product before you shrivel and die. And they said, you can have this product for four easy payments of $19.95. I would like to see a product that was available for three easy payments, and one fuckin' complicated payment. We ain't gonna tell you which one it is, but one of these payments is gonna be a bitch: the mailman will get shot to death, the envelope will not seal, and the stamps will be in the wrong denomination...Good luck f*cker! The last payment must be made in wompum!»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
| About:
Funny,
Television
| Keywords:
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