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Agamemnon
«SCRAP-BOOK, n. A book that is commonly edited by a fool. Many persons of some small distinction compile scrap-books containing whatever they happen to read about themselves or employ others to collect. One of these egotists was addressed in the lines following, by Agamemnon Melancthon Peters:Dear Frank, that scrap-book where you boast You keep a record true Of every kind of peppered roast That's made of you;Wherein you paste the printed gibes That revel round your name, Thinking the laughter of the scribes Attests your fame;Where all the pictures you arrange That comic pencils trace -- Your funny figure and your strange Semitic face --Pray lend it me. Wit I have not, Nor art, but there I'll list The daily drubbings you'd have got Had God a fist.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
addressed, address book, Agamemnon, arrange, attest, attested, attesting, attests, boast, collect, comic, comic book, comic books, compile, edited, egotist, egotists, employ, frank, have got, lend, name and address, paste, pasted, peppered, peppers, printed, read between the lines, revel, revels, roast, scrap, scraps, scribes, Semitic, small print, trace
«INFERIAE,n. [Latin] Among the Greeks and Romans, sacrifices for propitation of the _Dii Manes_, or souls of the dead heroes; for the pious ancients could not invent enough gods to satisfy their spiritual needs, and had to have a number of makeshift deities, or, as a sailor might say, jury-gods, which they made out of the most unpromising materials. It was while sacrificing a bullock to the spirit of Agamemnon that Laiaides, a priest of Aulis, was favored with an audience of that illustrious warrior's shade, who prophetically recounted to him the birth of Christ and the triumph of Christianity, giving him also a rapid but tolerably complete review of events down to the reign of Saint Louis. The narrative ended abruptly at the point, owing to the inconsiderate crowing of a cock, which compelled the ghosted King of Men to scamper back to Hades. There is a fine mediaeval flavor to this story, and as it has not been traced back further than Pere Brateille, a pious but obscure writer at the court of Saint Louis, we shall probably not err on the side of presumption in considering it apocryphal, though Monsignor Capel's judgment of the matter might be different; and to that I bow --wow.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
abruptly, Agamemnon, ancients, Ancient Greek, ancient Greeks, ancient Romans, apocryphal, bow-wow, cock, Court of, crowing, deities, flavor, ghost stories, Greeks, Hades, illustrious, inconsiderate, jury, makeshift, mediaeval, Monsignor, on the far side, owing, prophetically, recount, recounted, recounting, Romans, Saint Louis, scamper, scampering, The Far Side, tolerably, unpromising
«Many brave men lived before Agamemnon, but all are weighed down in unending night, unwept and unknown, because they lacked a sacred bard»
«Many heroes lived before Agamemnon; but all are unknown and unwept, extinguished in everlasting night, because they have no spirited chronicler.»