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W. C. Fields Quotes

«Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | About: Women | Keywords: elephants, look at
«I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | About: Food | Keywords: ADD, cook, food, wine
«Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard on a cold night, she can still survive.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: cold, marry, outdoors, survive, throw, yard
«Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: milk, milked, milking, poisoned, spilling, spills, spilt, Spilt Milk
«I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: equally, free of, hate, prejudices
«Children should neither be seen or heard from -- ever again.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: heard
«Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: butler, butlers, feet, house, midget, midgets, patter, pattered, pattering
«Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | Keywords: drinking, swear, swear off, thousand times
«I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic) | About: Opinions | Keywords: disgusting, disgusts, do in
«It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.»
Author: W. C. Fields (Actor, Comic)
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