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Stephen Wright Quotes

«One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | About: Dreams, Television | Keywords: asleep, dish, fall asleep, satellite, satellites, TV show, TV shows
«Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | About: Birthday | Keywords: burned, burned down, burn down, candle, factory, Happy Birthday, sang
«George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | Keywords: announcer, bridge, George, George I, On the Radio, radio, radio announcer, the George, walks
«My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | About: Babies | Keywords: noises
«Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | Keywords: cross country, cross country skiing, ski, skiing, skis
«Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | About: Babies | Keywords: babies, beach, go over, The Beach, vacation
«My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | Keywords: apartment, elephant, PET, roommate, The Apartment
«When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | Keywords: girlfriend, I Woke Up, This Morning, woke
«I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | Keywords: executive, subliminal, subliminal advertising
«I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.»
Author: Stephen Wright (Actor, Writer) | Keywords: batteries, battery, bought, included
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