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Monty Python Quotes

«'Tis but a scratch''A scratch?! Your arm's off!''No, it isn't.'»
Author: Monty Python | About: Funny, Movies | Keywords: heads, head off, scratch
«There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in anything or not»
Author: Monty Python | Keywords: agnostic, agnostics, believes
«Oh Lord please don't burn us don't kill or toast your flock Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock, Don't bake or baste or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok»
Author: Monty Python | About: God, Prayer | Keywords: bake, bakes, baking, barbecue, barbecued, baste, basting, boil, boil over, flock, fries, fry, in stock, simmer, simmering, stir, stock, stocking, toast, toasted, toasting, wok
«I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?»
Author: Monty Python | Keywords: punch, punched, punches, punching, punch in, punch line, scheduled, schedules, scheduling
«'What? Ridden on a horse?''Yes''You're using coconuts!''What?''You've got two empty halves of coconuts and you're banging them together!''So?'»
Author: Monty Python | Keywords: banging, coconut, coconuts, halve, halved, halves, halving, ridden
«Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help! I'm being repressed!»
Author: Monty Python | Keywords: inherent, repress, repressed, repressing, the system
«Tonight, instead of discussing the existence or non- existence of God, they have decided to fight for it»
Author: Monty Python | About: God | Keywords: decided, discussing, existence of God, the existence of God, tonight
«NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.»
Author: Monty Python | Keywords: chief, come in, devotion, efficiency, elements, expects, fanatical, Four elements, inquisition, inquisitions, pope, popes, Pope I, ruthless, Spanish, Spanish Inquisition, surprise, the Inquisition, the pope, The Popes, weapon, weaponry, weapons, with efficiency
«And now for something completely different.»
Author: Monty Python
«He must be a king.Why?He hasn't got shit all over him.»
Author: Monty Python | Keywords: all over, king
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