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Joan Rivers Quotes

«I have no methods; all I do is accept people as they are.»
Author: Joan Rivers | About: Relationships
«Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer.»
Author: Joan Rivers | About: Sex | Keywords: killer, make love
«You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again»
Author: Joan Rivers | About: Being a Woman | Keywords: beds, dishes, do the dishes
«People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.»
Author: Joan Rivers
«A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a labotomy.»
Author: Joan Rivers | Keywords: B.O., bo, Bo Derek, Derek, plastic, plastic surgeon
«Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.»
Author: Joan Rivers | Keywords: Boy George, George, queen, Queen of England
«My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.»
Author: Joan Rivers | Keywords: apology
«I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.»
Author: Joan Rivers | About: Twins | Keywords: plastic, plastic surgery, surgery, twin
«Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.»
Author: Joan Rivers | About: Food | Keywords: Elizabeth I, Elizabeth Taylor, seconds, Taylor
«There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.»
Author: Joan Rivers | Keywords: little girl
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