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Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

«A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian) | About: Babies, Children | Keywords: blender, two-year
«My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian) | About: Comedy, Family, Funny, Law and lawyers, Parents | Keywords: Florida, sixty
«Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian)
«Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian)
«The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian) | Keywords: IRS
«I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian) | Keywords: explosive, explosives, subjects
«To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to keep moving.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian)
«The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it's so much fun.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian) | About: Comedy | Keywords: levels, The Four
«That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian) | About: Christmas, Spirit
«A thought occurred to me,»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld (Actor, Comedian)
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