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Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

«The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy | About: Funny | Keywords: designate, designated, designated driver, designates, desirable, driver, drop, drop off, fun, house, job, most desirable, program, programmed, sucked, suck in, suck up, The Night
«If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy | Keywords: alright, craziest, dysfunctional, fair, family, five, goofiest, Goofy, like royalty, minutes, near, royalties, royalty, state, The State of the World
«[Watching a baby being born] is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy | Keywords: AT ST, baby, Bernard, St Bernard, The Cat, wet
«Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother -- you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy
«You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy
«Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy | Keywords: Did you know, nauseate, nauseated, nauseating, shirt, smell
«I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy | About: Funny, Jealousy | Keywords: dad, fifth, fifths, grade, grades, jealous
«If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy | Keywords: cars, redneck, rednecks, several, wheels
«My whole career can be summed up with 'Ignorance is bliss.' When you do not know better, you do not really worry about failing.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy
«You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.»
Author: Jeff Foxworthy
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