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Jay Leno Quotes

«Plans are being discussed as to who will replace Dick Cheney if he has to resign for health reasons. It's not easy for President Bush, he can't just name a replacement. He would first have to be confirmed by the oil, gas and power companies.»
«According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh. At least his book has some sex in it.»
«CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.»
«The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular.»
«A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bush's dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father.»
«I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | Keywords: Valentine, Valentine Day
«President Bush played golf yesterday and I understand Vice President Dick Cheney also got in a couple of strokes.»
«John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the place where he first proposed to her ? at her bank.»
«Hillary said today that she knew nothing about her brother's involvement (in Clinton's pardons). I believe her. This woman didn't even know who her husband was having sex with. How is she going to know what her brother is doing? Six months ago, she just suddenly found out she lived in New York!»
«After seeing Condit last night, we now realize how great a liar Clinton was.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | Keywords: Clinton, condit, Great A, liar

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