Quotations, Proverbs & Sayings

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Jay Leno Quotes

«The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.»
«Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub. Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have a civilian with no experience running the country?»
«The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.»
«The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.»
«Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'»
«If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | Keywords: candidates
«Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.»
«I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good?Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host)
«The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.»
«Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.»

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