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Jay Leno Quotes
«You always think, 'Ah, I could have done it better,' ... This lets you take all the best stories and all the best jokes and put them together.»
«The game was so long, three of the relief pitchers' visas expired. You know why it took so long? Most of the steroids stopped working after the 12th inning»
«Did you hear about this story? ... Several Minnesota Vikings players are being investigated after a boat cruise on a lake turned into a wild sex party on this boat. ? What are they, 1-3? One and three. That's the only offensive thing they've done all season, actually.»
«Have you ever threatened to turn the space shuttle around and go home, Senator Glenn, if these kids don't behave themselves?»
«telling you how tough it was in the old days -- how cramped it was, how small it was, how lucky you young punks are?»
«Huge wildfire broke out last night in Orange County -- 25 people were choking. No, I'm sorry. That was the New York Yankees.»