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Henny Youngman Quotes

«She's been married so many times she has rice marks on her face.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: Marks, rice
«She has a wash and wear bridal gown.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: bridal, bridal gown, gown, gowns, wash-and-wear, wash
«You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.»
Author: Henny Youngman
«I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: beat, horses, played, seven
«I take my wife everywhere I go. She always finds her way back.»
Author: Henny Youngman
«How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.'»
Author: Henny Youngman
«If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: dope, selling
«My brother was a lifeguard in a car wash.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: Car Wash
«I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.»
Author: Henny Youngman
«The more I think of you, the less I think of you.»
Author: Henny Youngman
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