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Henny Youngman Quotes

«You have a nice personality, but not for a human being.»
Author: Henny Youngman
«You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: cemetery, scout, scouting, Scouts, talent scout
«The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: bet, bet on, diaries, diary, jockey, jockeys, trip
«A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: months
«Why don't Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.»
Author: Henny Youngman
«That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: kneeled, kneeling, kneels, knelt, position
«I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o clock.»
Author: Henny Youngman
«This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: hotel, unlisted
«She's a big-hearted girl with hips to match.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: hips
«This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: Chicago, earnest, Ernest, frank, franker, frankest, Franks, Frank and, Fresno, This Man
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