Quotations, Proverbs & Sayings

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Henny Youngman Quotes

«If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.»
«Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: divorces, Jewish
«My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first!»
«There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.»
«My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.»
«Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.»
Author: Henny Youngman | Keywords: Jewish, wives
«Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous.»
«This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated!»
«A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well.»
«I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.»

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