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Groucho Marx Quotes

«I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: beat, beat about, beat in, beat out, beat up, club, clubbed, head, join, The Beat, The Club
«Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: fact, in fact, reminds
«I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: animals, eat, vegetarian, Vegetarians
«My favourite poem is the one that starts 'Thirty days hath September' because it actually tells you something.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: actually, favourite, poem, September, starts, tells, thirties, thirty, Thirty one
«Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: control, fate, the Fates, The Women
«I was going to thrash them within an inch of their lives, but I didn't have a tape measure»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: by inches, inch, inched, inching, measure, tape, tapes, tape measure, taping, thrash, thrashed, thrashing
«I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Confidence | Keywords: confidence, less than nothing
«Well, art is art, isn't it? Still, on the other hand, water is water! And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now, uh... Now you tell me what you know.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: applesauce, Best Art, cranberries, cranberry, East, East Is East, East of, on the other hand, prune, pruned, prunes, pruning, rhubarb, stew, stewed, stewing, taste, Tell Me, West
«If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: be on, held, Other side, side, The other side
«I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: evening, perfectly, wonderful
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