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Groucho Marx Quotes

«I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Happiness | Keywords: arrived, choose, Day After Tomorrow, dead, events, Happy Days, in any event, Just One, one day, One Power, shall, The Day After Tomorrow, The Happiest Days, The Power, today, tomorrow, unhappier, unhappiest, unhappy, yesterday, yet
«Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Men and Women | Keywords: a thousand, follow, leader, Leader of, one-man, the Other, thousand
«Q: What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?A: Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: agnostic, agnostics, cross, crossing over, Crossing the, cross out, dog, dyslexic, insomniac, insomniacs, Night, stays, wondering
«I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Television | Keywords: book, educates, educating, go into, I go, read, room, set, somebody, television, television set, turns
«Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Funny | Keywords: behind, man and wife, successful, wife
«Women should be obscene and not heard.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Truth | Keywords: heard, obscene
«I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: wonderful
«One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | About: Funny | Keywords: elephant, morning, one shot, pajamas, shoot for, Shoot Out, shoot up, shot
«If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: again, hear, heard, stop, story
«Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you»
Author: Groucho Marx (Actor, Comedian, Singer) | Keywords: in this, One Too, room, rooming
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