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George Carlin Quotes

«Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | About: Addiction
«One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: area, deserted, deserting, for sure, Through the Desert
«If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: arrange, arranges, beat, beaten
«If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: arms, intended, masturbate, shorter
«I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | About: Authority | Keywords: as many, authority, pope, popes, Pope I, the pope, The Popes
«You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | About: Funny | Keywords: executions, fewer, good part, Texan, Texans, Texas
«Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: cynical, disappointed, disappoints, idealist, inside, The Idealists
«Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that ...»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: for all, go to
«The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: close, close set, closing time, existence, fire, flame, flamed, In Flames, job, just in time, on fire, proves, set, somewhere, The Job
«Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did»
Author: George Carlin (Actor, Author, Comedian) | Keywords: not only
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