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Erma Bombeck Quotes

«The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a other must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: crucial, engaged, motherhood
«All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Courage | Keywords: All of Us, carpet, carpeted, carpets, house, In Out, moments, One House, one of them, taking, test, white, whited, whiter, whiting
«Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, it's unplanned, it's full of surprises.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Humor | Keywords: outburst, outbursts, spontaneous, surprises, unbridled, unplanned
«My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: bed, bunk, bunk bed, chore, faint, fainter, faintest, fainting, faints, favorite, favorites, head, Head On, hitting, household, ironed, ironing, irons, my first, The Faint, top
«Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: decreed, decreeing, in league, league, League of, uniforms, white
«Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Children | Keywords: at work, high-risk, Home Alone, occupation, summer, thirteen
«The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Funny, Sex | Keywords: breathing, breathings, heavies, heavy, jog, jogging, take up
«Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Gifts | Keywords: giving, guilt, keeps, The Gift
«Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: coincidence, coincidences, consumed, dinners, eighteen, thanksgiving, twelve
«Housework can kill you if done right»
Author: Erma Bombeck | Keywords: housework
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