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Emo Philips Quotes

«I'm a great lover, I'll bet.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: bet
«I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: bars, gum, gums, hoping, I go, lucky, singles, stool, stools
«You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: givers, Indian, Take That
«I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: alleyway, alleyways, ducked, following, gay
«Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: brother, hello, hooray, speech therapy, therapies, therapy
«When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas...»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: enema, enemas, get started, hot pot, I Tried, piping
«I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: exterminator, exterminators
«You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.»
Author: Emo Philips | About: Schools | Keywords: aged, Every Little Thing, Good Stuff, middle-aged, old school, spanked, spanking
«My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.»
Author: Emo Philips | Keywords: have sex, sister
«I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.»
Author: Emo Philips | About: Luck | Keywords: gum, hopping
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