Quotations, Proverbs & Sayings

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Dave Barry Quotes

«Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.»
«A full-grown manatee, which can weigh more than 1,000 pounds, looks like the result of a genetic experiment involving a walrus and the Goodyear Blimp.»
«What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.»
«To enter Europe, you must have a valid passport with a photograph of yourself in which you look like you are being booked on charges of soliciting sheep.»
«It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.»
«The Ford Falcon holds the proud title of Slowest Car Ever Built. In certain areas of the country you can go to a stoplight and find Falcon drivers who pressed down on their accelerators in 1963 and are still waiting for their cars to move.»
«My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Chess | Keywords: chess, chess game, chess piece
«The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?»
«I do not mean to suggest for a moment that all it takes to be a top executive is a custom-tailored European suit. You also need the correct shirt and tie.»
«In those days, most people read newspapers, whereas today, most people do not. What caused this change? One big factor, of course, is that people are a lot stupider than they used to be, although we here in the newspaper industry would never say so in print.»

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