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Bill Maher Quotes

«Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.»
«NEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be able to publish government-approved material. Almost one out of five said people should not be allowed to voice unpopular opinions..This is the first generation after September 11th, who discovered news during a 'watch what you say' administration...George W. Bush once asked, 'is our children learning.' No, they isn't. A better question would be, 'is our teacher's teaching?'»
«Hi, I'm Bill. I'm a birth survivor.»
«I was watching Ashlee Simpson on Jay's show last night... She was really singing, and I was saying, 'Bring back the lip synch.' ...And it struck me that Ashlee Simpson is a lot like George Bush-because she wouldn't even really be in the big leagues if it wasn't for family connections, and she's in way over her head. And she doesn't know what to do. And she blamed her band.»
«Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.»
«I think we all remember that those first months after the attack, this country really was a very different country. I think we were ready to do anything. I think we would have marched into hell behind this guy. . . . I think nobody in a position of leadership, not the Democrats, not the president, asked anyone in this country to rethink or redo anything. The most they asked us to do was to keep the economy going, to shop and go see shows again and travel.»
«They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.»
«It's all been satirized for your protection.»
«False hope really makes you cynical»
Author: Bill Maher (Actor, Comedian, Producer, Writer) | About: Hope | Keywords: cynical
«Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing . . . rewarding immoral and illegal behavior. . . . For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.»

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