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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
«LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been the whale, but that distinguished ichthyologer, Dr. Jordan, of Stanford University, maintains with considerable heat that it was a species of gigantic Tadpole (_Thaddeus Polandensis_) or Polliwig --_Maria pseudo-hirsuta_. For an exhaustive description and history of the Tadpole consult the famous monograph of Jane Potter, _Thaddeus of Warsaw_.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
aquatic, consult, description, Dr., Dr, exhaustive, History of the, job description, leviathan, maintains, monograph, potter, pseudo, tadpole
«LICKSPITTLE, n. A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper. In his character of editor he is closely allied to the blackmailer by the tie of occasional identity; for in truth the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species. Lickspittling is more detestable than blackmailing, precisely as the business of a confidence man is more detestable than that of a highway robber; and the parallel maintains itself throughout, for whereas few robbers will cheat, every sneak will plunder if he dare.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
blackmail, blackmailed, blackmailer, confidence man, detestable, functionaries, functionary, highway, infrequently, in truth, maintains, occasional, parallel, plunder, sneak, sneaking, Truth The
«LAUREATE, adj. Crowned with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the sovereign's court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and singing-mute at every royal funeral. Of all incumbents of that high office, Robert Southey had the most notable knack at drugging the Samson of public joy and cutting his hair to the quick; and he had an artistic color-sense which enabled him so to blacken a public grief as to give it the aspect of a national crime.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
blacken, blackened, blackens, crowned, Crown Royal, drugging, hair color, hair cut, incumbent, incumbents, incumbent on, laureate, Laurel, laurels, leave office, officer, Poet Laureate, Robert Southey, royal court, Samson, Southey, sovereign, The Knack
«HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.Lo! the poor humorist, whose tortured mind See jokes in crowds, though still to gloom inclined -- Whose simple appetite, untaught to stray, His brains, renewed by night, consumes by day. He thinks, admitted to an equal sty, A graceful hog would bear his company. --Alexander Poke»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
austerity, consumes, crowds, gloom, his company, hoar, hog, humorists, persuaded, plague, poking, renewed, softened, stray, the humorist, untaught
«ILLUMINATI, n. A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the sixteenth century; so called because they were light weights --_cunctationes illuminati_.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
Heretics, sixteenth, sixteenth century, Spanish, weights
«IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
joint ownership, ownership, warehouse, warehouses
«IMPARTIAL, adj. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a controversy or adopting either of two conflicting opinions.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
adj, conflicting opinions, controversy, espouse, espoused, espouses, espousing, impartial