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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
«INTENTION, n. The mind's sense of the prevalence of one set of influences over another set; an effect whose cause is the imminence, immediate or remote, of the performance of an involuntary act.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
imminence, involuntary, prevalence, remote
«INTERREGNUM, n. The period during which a monarchical country is governed by a warm spot on the cushion of the throne. The experiment of letting the spot grow cold has commonly been attended by most unhappy results from the zeal of many worthy persons to make it warm again.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
cushion, cushioned, cushions, interregnum, monarchical, zeal
«LUNARIAN, n. An inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon inhabits. The Lunarians have been described by Lucian, Locke and other observers, but without much agreement. For example, Bragellos avers their anatomical identity with Man, but Professor Newcomb says they are more like the hill tribes of Vermont.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
anatomical, aver, inhabitant, inhabits, Lucian, lunatic, professor, the Hill, tribes, Vermont
«IN'ARDS, n. The stomach, heart, soul and other bowels. Many eminent investigators do not class the soul as an in'ard, but that acute observer and renowned authority, Dr. Gunsaulus, is persuaded that the mysterious organ known as the spleen is nothing less than our important part. To the contrary, Professor Garrett P. Servis holds that man's soul is that prolongation of his spinal marrow which forms the pith of his no tail; and for demonstration of his faith points confidently to the fact that no tailed animals have no souls. Concerning these two theories, it is best to suspend judgment by believing both.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
acute, demonstration, demonstrations, Dr, eminent, investigator, investigators, observer, organ, persuaded, pith, professor, prolongation, spinal, spleen, suspend, tailed, theories
«DICTATOR, n. The chief of a nation that prefers the pestilence of despotism to the plague of anarchy.»
«LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.Ah, punster, would my lot were cast, Where the cobbler is unknown, So that I might forget his last And hear your own. --Gargo Repsky»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
cobbler, frowning, implement, Puns, punster, punsters, shoemaker, shoemakers