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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
«BIRTH, n. The first and direst of all disasters. As to the nature of it there appears to be no uniformity. Castor and Pollux were born from the egg. Pallas came out of a skull. Galatea was once a block of stone. Peresilis, who wrote in the tenth century, avers that he grew up out of the ground where a priest had spilled holy water. It is known that Arimaxus was derived from a hole in the earth, made by a stroke of lightning. Leucomedon was the son of a cavern in Mount Aetna, and I have myself seen a man come out of a wine cellar.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
aver, Castor, Castor and, Castor and Pollux, cavern, caverns, direst, disasters, first century, Galatea, hole in the ground, holy water, Pallas, Pollux, skull, spilled, watering hole, wine cellar
«CRITIC, n. A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries to please him.There is a land of pure delight, Beyond the Jordan's flood, Where saints, apparelled all in white, Fling back the critic's mud.And as he legs it through the skies, His pelt a sable hue, He sorrows sore to recognize The missiles that he threw. --Orrin Goof»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
goof, goofed, goofing, hard to please, missile, mud, pelt, pelting, pelts, pure white, sable, sables, The Critic, threw
«CORONATION, n. The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
coronation, divine right, dynamite, investing, sky-high, skyhigh
«CRAYFISH, n. A small crustacean very much resembling the lobster, but less indigestible.In this small fish I take it that human wisdom is admirably figured and symbolized; for whereas the crayfish doth move only backward, and can have only retrospection, seeing naught but the perils already passed, so the wisdom of man doth not enable him to avoid the follies that beset his course, but only to apprehend their nature afterward. --Sir James Merivale»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
admirably, beset, crayfish, crustacean, indigestible, lobster, lobsters, naught, resembling, retrospection, symbolize, symbolized
«CREDITOR, n. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their desolating incursions.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
creditor, desolating, dreaded, dwelling, financial, incursion, incursions, straits
«CANONICALS, n. The motley worm by Jesters of the Court of Heaven.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
Court jester, jester, Jesters, motley
«CAMEL, n. A quadruped (the _Splaypes humpidorsus_) of great value to the show business. There are two kinds of camels --the camel proper and the camel improper. It is the latter that is always exhibited.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
camels, exhibited, quadruped, quadrupeds, show business, The Show