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Ambrose Bierce Quotes
«OUTCOME, n. A particular type of disappointment. By the kind of intelligence that sees in an exception a proof of the rule the wisdom of an act is judged by the outcome, the result. This is immortal nonsense; the wisdom of an act is to be juded by the light that the doer had when he performed it.»
«PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion.Cold pie was highly esteemed by the remains. --Rev. Dr. Mucker(in a funeral sermon over a British nobleman)Cold pie is a detestable American comestible. That's why I'm done --or undone -- So far from that dear London.(from the headstone of a British nobleman in Kalamazoo)»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
comestible, Dr., Dr, esteemed, headstone, indigestion, Kalamazoo, nobleman, reaper, reapers, rev, revving
«PEACE, n. In international affairs, a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.O, what's the loud uproar assailing Mine ears without cease?'Tis the voice of the hopeful, all-hailing The horrors of peace.Ah, Peace Universal; they woo it -- Would marry it, too. If only they knew how to do it'Twere easy to do.They're working by night and by day On their problem, like moles. Have mercy, O Heaven, I pray, On their meddlesome souls! --Ro Amil»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
Amil, assail, assailed, assailing, hailing, hopeful, international affairs, meddlesome, mole, moles, uproar
«PEDESTRIAN, n. The variable (an audible) part of the roadway for an automobile.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
audible, pedestrian, pedestrians, roadway, roadways, variable, variables
«PHILANTHROPIST, n. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his conscience is picking his pocket.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
grin, philanthropist, philanthropists, The Philanthropist
«PHILISTINE, n. One whose mind is the creature of its environment, following the fashion in thought, feeling and sentiment. He is sometimes learned, frequently prosperous, commonly clean and always solemn.»
«PERORATION, n. The explosion of an oratorical rocket. It dazzles, but to an observer having the wrong kind of nose its most conspicuous peculiarity is the smell of the several kinds of powder used in preparing it.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
dazzles, oratorical, peculiarities, peculiarity, powder, preparing, The Explosion
«PHONOGRAPH, n. An irritating toy that restores life to dead noises.»
Author: Ambrose Bierce
(Editor, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
phonograph, phonographs, restores, toy